but decided sinces its my blog... maybe i can just publish it?
hmm.. wat u all tink? shd i publish or save as draft for the below post?
kinda scared...
but anyway here it goes..
actually at first i alrdy v.worried that the gown will be too over, like wedding..
but cos need to be compatible to my dear, so i wear that
and that dear kept comforting me tt there are also others who wear lidat de la.. its okay
i actually felt better le
but sunday the fitting.. even his mum also said looks like wedding
i am worried
on that day.. wat will the guests tink...
i will feel so...
u noe... it shd be a happy day... i wan ppl to hav all e happy tots abt us...
n not u noe... wa.. she wear ma jiam like wedding lidat.. nice la but bit over... tt sort of comments...
and I feel his mum shdnt say such thg lor
cos if not for her supersticiousness, james also wun supersticiousness
and if not for supersticiousness, I wun have to wear this
I am not blaming for their supersticiousness
cos i noe one thg.. y the supersticious, especially for dear, is also cos for dear's good cos he is very special in a way..
n also regarding tis wedding matter, i understand dear's intention... its all for our good..
and i appreciate that...
but its cos of the comment that she made...
its like.. make me feel unjust
cos if say 难听, is oso not i wan to wear lidat de.. but we need to look compatible ah..
and also, it makes me feel like.. I am not all that perfect for my ROM
or our whole ROM thing is not all that perfect..
i guess tis is one of the reasons why i almost cried on sunday..
another reason is the necklace thg.. actually i oso duno wat i wan..
cos the bottom alrdy very like wedding, so i also wish e top to be plain
but cos my hair tt time was let down n i duno wat joyce will style for me on tt day
so when auntie says dun put anythg.. it kinda upsets me.. cos i feel dun match when i see it in e mirror, my top n bottom
n so when they ask me about necklace, i also kept quiet, cos one thing is i duno, another thg is i duno wat i should say cos his mum alrdy says no..
aft tt when we deciding on the simple necklace tt elsie picked for me
i can see that auntie seems unhappy so i asked mel
den mel told me maybe her mum jus wan me to seek her opinion..
hmm.. now tt i tink of it.. well, understandable cos out of respect ma
but its just that on sunday itself, i alrdy feel upset so still wan me ask, i feel its kinda hard on me..
but in the end, i did ask la cos i also dun wish her to b upset w me or abt our ROM thing..
but im glad dear understands at that time n comforted me..
i tink sometimes she doesnt mean it but its the way she puts it.. kinda hurt me unintentionally..
many times i try to ignore it..
both dear n i are capricorns..
and capricorns are perfectionists..
of cos we wan everythg to be perfect
to go smoothly
and hope everyone will be full of praises on that day..
and she said she wans to doll up, make herself look very nice
I worried that later… if my mum didn’t dress up..
its not compatible...
den it will make my mum look very what lor…
u get wat I mean
n also like.. e way she says it.. like a bit wish to b the center of attraction on our day lidat…
haiz..
maybe regardin the previous last statement.. I am tinking too much la
cos afterall.. they also happy n also wish to dress up..
but I can see that even elsie also can tell that…
i have to be very very tactful of my every words and actions, if i really wan to please my mil.
why relationship cannot just be between the two of us...
but afterall, i also appreciate what she has done for us
help in our quarrels
and also really appreciative and adore the mother's love for the son at times..
tis is the reason why i will tell myself to try to please her..
tis is the thing that i am referring to, in my previous post tt sth happen on sunday tt makes me upset..
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