in a mess

right now,

i feel so fan..

1) true spa/subtle senses detox packages
really regretted buying this.
i felt so stuck now
wishing to stop payment so i can have more savings

2) money
somehow i haven't been saving but instead, have been drawin money out from my saving
this is real bad
i remember that time when i finish payin my sch installmts, i felt so happy and started calculating
and if the saving goes on like last time.. i should have 10k by end yr n could start a small business or make investment
but right now... so now for me.. everythg budget budget budget!
somehow i stil hav to go hongkong for e-tourism module
and realised that i might not be able to claim from flexi as Lu paid for all of us first..
like everythg i do also.. nt smooth

3) abt thesis
previously was excited about wedding tourism
after doing strategic planning, tot of changing to trekking tourism those
and become less enthu about wedding
den aft tt said my wedding tourism (photo shoot) approved but need to confirm whether theres enuf lit rev.
realise that theres isnt much lit rev
so change to honeymoon..
but felt happy la today.. cos finally everythg like settled.. its been approved
so i still can proceed w same pace as the rest..
hope everythg goes well n smooth frm here.. few more mths n graduate le.. really need serious n cheong n hardworkin ah..

seein that some of my old sec sch frens.. last time results not so good
but they all do well for their poly and manage to go to a local uni. their path seems to be goin upslope
but me.. going downslope..
becoming lazier
slackier
not motivated
nw alrdy used to last min den cheong, take leave
but no more leaves le.. i hope i manage to do w/o takin leave
haiz...
im wastin my money
how to help myself

4) abt dear's family
between dear n his parents

5) abt my family
between my parents
hope mum will b more supportive and understanding towards dad

between mum n granny
hope granny can come over n stay n mum will b understanding

6) abt frenship
i felt that we've kinda drifted apart
and theres sth that upsets me
i realised that when i talked to her, she is listening
but when someone suddenly comes or something about someone she wants to say about.. she will just turn away and talk to others..
and that conversation just end abruptly like that
it has been a few times le
now don't really dare talk to her, cos afraid she will like that
and i dun like the feeling

7) new house
felt lonely every morning
i don't like the feeling
miss my granny

8) about dear
wish to help him but seriously.. duno how
really wish god will give me directions
or send a gui ren to help him
it doesnt help if i keep talkin n nth gets in there.
n if he insist his way
i dun wan to c him kept doin/findin thgs to make himself troubled
i tot tis time round, he really take it seriously w careful planning..
thgs tt need nt buy at the moment, can save up first, save.. need to hav the $ roll in first.. den can buy.. but....
ARRGH.. wo hen fan ah
n he seems to treat everyone who dun agree w him as 'enemy', even if close ones..

n hope that he will noe that sometimes ppl say tis to u, is wan to let u noe, wei ni hao, not against u, sarcastic or wat..

also about school.. hope will faster settle n he continue studyin n get cert w/o makin parents unhappy

9) about myself
i felt i have changed alot
i felt that i have gotten even quieter than before
i felt that i have drifted apart from the rest or can't join
i have low confidence and oversensitive
i am lazy and dependent
this is so terrible
i hate it
time management sucks
i feel everythg like not going well for me..
i feel i am in a mess..

the path before me seems so 模糊
i hope the sun will shine soon.. so that i can see light, i can see a clearer picture, i can finally smile n relax

Posted by jasmine at 9:03 PM